2) Check with your chamber of commerce, small business administration, and library for any information on how to get scholarships or any other reimbursement programs available to you as a single mother. Not to sound racist but if there is a program for a specific race, age, or marital status and you fit that detail take advantage of it. There are literally thousands of companies and government funded organizations that assist various people based on race, sex, age, or marital status. An example might be the Daughter’s of the Revolution. It is designed for women who are able to trace their heritage back to the revolutionary period. They also have great scholarships for members.

3) If daycare costs will hurt you check on daycare assistance from Department of Children and Families. Another option is find a local in home daycare that might be willing to trade you some services. Maybe you could work as a volunteer during certain hours in trade for a discount or for a few free days of care. If you have a specialty they can use such as if you have bookkeeping experience you might offer to do their books in trade for some free hours of care. You can also consider getting your Earned Income Credit as advanced EIC on your paycheck to help cover the cost. Have a friend in school too? Exchange babysitting if possible. Schedule courses at different times to make this possible.

4) Once you get into the school of your choice then participate in as many activities as you can it will pay off. Make friends while you are there. Look for events that you can take your children with you and still get some extra credit. Take all the extra credit you can to buffer for what you might score low on when kids are sick or emergencies arise.

5) Join like minded clubs for your study or for some interest you have.
For example where I attended there was a large group for single parents. Although it wasn’t single mothers it was a good place to bounce ideas and suggestions around to make your experience better for you. If you paid attention sometimes you learned great ways to make things easier for you from the classmates.

6) If the father has never been there and/or family over the years don’t expect them to come running now. Don’t waste a lot of energy fighting over it. Politely ask once for help and if that doesn’t work let it go. If you spend an hour on the phone arguing about why he can’t watch the kids that is an hour you could have been finding a better babysitter. Use common sense in these matters not emotions because more than once they will steer you wrong and waste your precious time.

7) Self help books are ok to a point but don’t rely on them like they are everything you need to do. While the overall situation is the same the particulars are more likely different. It is like being able to relate to a story by a friend but you see you both reacted very differently.

8) Meet with a counselor for your degree often and be sure you are on the right track. No wasted classes that do not count towards your degree or your goals. Be sure your adviser/counselor knows your specific goals so they can give you the best advice. Find out what courses are only offered once in a while and get them while you can. You cannot imagine how often someone has to come back for one class because they missed it the first go around.

9) Your goals should include at least five years to get you beyond the classroom and into the career path you want. Take an internship-it might make the difference of getting a job or not after school. If the school department you are in has a mentor-ship program then you should take it.

10) Enjoy your time as a student because you won’t ever be in this moment again. While it is business be sure to make the best of it while you can. This might be hard but if you take advantage of all the wonderful programs surely you can get through it with flying colors.

Though I am married now I was a single mother raising four children during 4+ years of college/university that I could easily say “Oh, I wish I had done it this way” but that isn’t possible or worth me worrying over now. I survived and if that is all you do I sincerely feel you will be much better for having done so. I now work in a great firm even if I didn’t come directly here from college. I had some bumps along the way due to my lack of participating in programs because I didn’t have time. I got here and I am thankful every day for the blessings I have along with all the achievements I have earned.

Book Description

Returning to the workforce can be a daunting job for full-time moms. It requires reigniting old contacts (including co-workers who were once their junior), marketing themselves strategically, and battling the diminished self-image that plagues most women who have been off the career track–whether it’s been two, six, or 15 years. Carol Fishman Cohen and Vivian Steir Rabin understand, because they’ve been there. And as women who have successfully relaunched their careers, they know it can be done with careful planning, strategizing, and creativity. Now, in Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay at Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work, they offer a prescriptive, seven-step program that covers such topics as building confidence, assessing career options, updating job skills, preparing for interviews, getting the family on board, networking, and much more.

Would you like to return to the work world but are concerned about how to find an opportunity that will allow you to fulfill your family or other non-work obligations, nervous about how to “market yourself” to potential employers, or unsure about what type of work you want to do? We know how you feel. We took time out to be home with our children, and then relaunched our careers years later. Based upon our experience, and that of the 100+ women we interviewed for our forthcoming book, as well as the career counselors, recruiters and employers whose advice we sought, we’ve developed a detailed process to help you negotiate this major transition. Here it is in a nutshell:

1. Relaunch or Not: You Decide. If financial reasons require you to return to work, go to step 2. If not, determine whether you are ready to go back to paid work or whether deepening your volunteer involvement or engaging in a non-work passion might satisfy your restlessness. If you’re not sure whether or not you want to return to paid work, visit http://www.backonthecareertrack.com/ and take our Relaunch Readiness Quiz.

2. Learn Confidence. If a lack of confidence is one of the obstacles holding you back, don’t worry. You can regain it. Remember, whether you are a nurse, speech therapist, computer programmer, scientific researcher, or salesperson, your former colleagues’ and classmates’ image of you is frozen in time. They think of you as a consummate professional, and as you start to renew your professional persona and reconnect to the professional world, your confidence will grow. Following Steps 3 and 4 will also help increase your confidence as you update your professional knowledge and become more articulate in expressing what you want to do and why.

3. Assess Your Career Options. Don’t think that returning to the conventional full time workforce is the only way to resume your career. The moms we interviewed did everything from starting a home based afterschool enrichment program (former teacher) to running career services for a law school on a flexible schedule (former public defender) to job sharing a hospice administrator position (former social worker) to creating a marketing campaign for a new mutual fund from home (former mid level marketing executive). Break down your old job(s) or volunteer experiences into their component parts and focus on what you did best and what you liked best. Then try to think of new opportunities that build on those skills and interests.

4. Update your Professional and Job Search Skills. A sure way to increase your confidence and bolster your employability is to update yourself. Read relevant journals, take continuing education classes and attend industry events. In terms of job search skills, develop an elevator story (a two minute talk answering the “what do you want to do” question) that summarizes your expertise and the kind of opportunity you seek in a few key sentences.

5. Network and Market Yourself. Order yourself a business card with your name and contact information. That way you don’t have to scribble on a piece of scrap paper if you meet someone who wants to keep in touch with you. Then, start talking to people, beginning with those you know well. Branch out to those to whom they refer you, and discuss your professional interests and the kinds of opportunities you’d like to explore. These informal conversations essentially function as interview rehearsals, as you gradually hone your message. Prior to formal interviews, make sure you prepare extensively by studying the employer’s website and practicing answers to the most common interview questions. When asked about your resume gap, answer matter-of-factly that you took some time out to raise your children/take care of an elderly parent, etc., but that you’re now eager to get back to work.

6. Channel Family Support. Get your spouse, if you have one, on board with your plans as soon as possible. If you encounter resistance, make it clear how important this is to you and point out that with extra income you might be able to outsource some of the tasks that neither of you wants to perform, such as cleaning and shopping. The older your children are, the sooner you should tell them as well. If you need to change your childcare arrangements, try to implement the changes before you start your new job, so you can work out any problems. Streamline your household routines to maximize time to devote to either work or family. Develop a support network of family and/or neighbors to help you out in a jam.

7. Handle the Job or Find Another One. You found the right opportunity and you’ve relaunched. Initially, keep your employer’s expectations low. Better to underpromise and overdeliver, rather than the other way around. Ask for early and frequent reviews — ideally, every six months, because neither you nor your employer will be able to predict the rate of your career trajectory. Help your colleagues whenever possible, so they’ll reciprocate when you need them. And, remember, this is just your first foray back to the professional marketplace. If it doesn’t work out, you can always make a change.

© 2007 Carol Fishman Cohen and Vivian Steir Rabin

By, John Hewitt  

Single mothers often struggle to make ends meet. Child care costs eat into the amount of money they’re able to bring home every month, making it more difficult to save money to prepare for emergencies. Luckily, there are many grants available for single mothers to work toward achieve financial independence, security and success.

Significance

Federal, local and state governments all make special grants available to single mothers to help them train for employment, go to school, meet basic expenses, find housing, provide care for their children and maintain good health. Single mothers have more grants available to them than any other demographic category. More than 30 million Americans receive grant money every year. There is no moral issue with taking money from grants–after all, the average single mother is likely to pay most of the money they receive from the government back in the form of taxes in any case.

Function

The most common kinds of grants available to single mothers are those that provide educational and job training assistance. Don’t just get one grant if you’re looking for educational financial aid–examine your options through the reference resources below for grants at the federal, local and state level. Apply for grants that don’t apply just to single mothers as well, in order to maximize your returns. You can greatly improve your financial security if you take the time to look at your options for grants.

Features

Private foundations also give out many grants specifically to single mothers to help them in their labor to better themselves. Organizations like Raise the Nation and Sunshine Lady write thousands of grants every year for single mothers who are looking for help on college tuition. Don’t turn to private foundations only if you get turned down for public grants–apply for everything as soon as you can to maximize your grant coverage.

Geography

Different grants are available depending on where you live. If there aren’t many government grants available for your locality, it may make sense to relocate to a place where more grants are available. You may be able to make up for any costs involved with moving by taking out the grant itself. It can be a bit of a risk, but it may pay off. If you plan on using grants to go to school, be sure that you investigate all of their financial aid opportunities.

Benefits

Keep in mind that there are many loan forgiveness plans that you can enroll in if you either find work with the government or volunteer for community service programs like AmeriCorps. Single mothers who join the military are also often eligible for entirely new classes of benefits. Browse the various grants that are available to you, but try not to significantly alter your career or schooling choices to match the grants. That will likely have an adverse long-term effect on your ability to enjoy yourself and succeed in your future career.

For almost 30 years, I’ve taught youth and adults. The most rewarding aspect of teaching is watching students overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to achieve great success in school and in life. My students, a great many of them single parents, continually inspire me. Although I’ve encountered both single mothers and fathers among my students, I’ve observed that it is usually single mothers who are especially challenged as they tend to be the primary caretakers of their children and the only breadwinners in their households. I marvel at how they do it; from them, I’ve learned the following.

Single mothers who are successful students choose the right time to return to school. The “right” time will vary according to individual circumstances, but generally single mothers should not go back to school unless the time is “right” for them and their children. Good planning and forethought should go into anyone’s decision to attend college, but this is especially necessary for the single mother. Inspired by the birth of my wonderful daughter, I felt that I could conquer the world, especially on her behalf. So in addition to working full time, I began part-time graduate studies. I thought this was manageable and was certainly ambition enough to make it work. But, who was I kidding? A single mother myself, leaving my 10-month-old baby just one night a week, even in the very capable hands of my own mother, was more unbearable than the hours of sleep I had to forfeit in order to keep up with class assignments. Well into the semester, I was forced to withdraw from school. Regardless of my career aspirations, bonding with my baby was much more important than obtaining a degree. As an instructor, and single parent myself, I empathize with other mothers struggling solo to be good college students, effective parents, and productive employees all at the same time.

Successful student moms tend to have strong support systems. Be it a network of loving family members or loyal friends or both, a single mother will indeed need the village to help her, especially if she is in college. She’ll need someone to nurture her sick child so that she won’t have to miss class. She’ll need someone to pick her children up from daycare or school when she has to stay at work late and then race to class. I am ever grateful to the community of friends and family who were willing and able to provide meals, recreation, and respite for my daughter when my being a student meant that mentally or physically I  could not be with my child. The master’s degree that I was ultimately able to earn belongs to that community of friends and loved ones, as much as it belongs to me. However, even with the greatest support systems, single mothers cannot be effective students as long as health, childcare, school, and other issues concerning their children are unresolved.

The most important lesson I’ve learned from my students is that in order to be successful in college, one must be realistic. Media messages aside, we cannot have it all; we cannot have it now. Attending college requires that students make personal and financial sacrifices; single parents must be aware of and realistic about how they will manage those sacrifices. Sadly, every semester there are those students who crash and burn simply because they’ve tried to do too much. Eager to achieve and make up for “lost” time, they register for too many classes while having to juggle myriad other responsibilities. How foolish it was for me to believe that I could or should have abandoned my baby daughter one or two nights a week to attend college. In addition, I would have been away from her all day while I was at work and been preoccupied with coursework most other nights and weekends.

It is these lessons from my students that made me a successful student, despite my single parent status. I am ever grateful to them. They’ve been great role models. Their patience, grace, and perseverance is what made them successful in college and in life.